I started school this week! I don’t know why I ever stopped school. School is infinitely better than work. People are curious and want to know about ideas that go nowhere and serve no greater purpose than thought experimentation. People care about statements that start with “I think”. People are in one space actively pursuing a common goal. People are committed to the betterment of themselves in this sphere. I repeat, school is better than work.
As I have not engaged in casual academic research paper writing in the last 20 years, I decided to take the pre requisite “Writing in the Social Sciences” rather than try to test out of it. And I’m really glad I went this route. A lot has shifted, like how the cool kids write bibliographies, how to protect yourself from being accused of using AI, also trying to re remember where everything is in Word since I live in google docs now. And I have to admit I was a bit nervous, my nerves calmed a bit when our professor explained that this was as much about argument formation and rebuttal as writing (definitely in my comfort zone). There’s a wide range of folks in this class, and I’m not the oldest, and 3 of us are currently in Mexico City. Lots of folks pursuing psych degrees. The class focus is Sports & Society, so in our first class, we read an article on the Trump campaign’s utilization of various sports in campaigning during the 24 election cycle. We were then asked to write a response over the next hour and submit it. This is the feedback I received, although I suspect it leaned more heavily on argument formation than writing style. As someone who would never pick Sports & Society as theme, I’m reminded of how very much I like learning and how really just about anything can pique my curiousity. And it’s oneo f my favorite tihngs about myself. Although at the same time, I’m also remembering the fatigue that can come with wading through a textbook about how to write a paper. Not the world’s most stimulating.
In other exciting news, I finally figured out how to make the comments show on this blog. So that was 4 months of highly intermittent work coming to fruitition. Also, I am an umbrella owner. Having disdained them for years with a healthy amount of northwesterner ego embedded, I find that in Mexico City an umbrella is an essential item. It’s simply too warm for coats and the rain too intense and enduring for mad cap dashes. Leo does not approve and is quite confident the umbrella is permanantly poised for attack, though he is demonstrating increasing curiousity.
And in emotionally complicated news, I have, with my therapist, decided to get on anti depressants. I believe in science, I believe in mental health, I believe that most of us, if not all, go through times when we need brain medicine, and yet, I apparently also think I should be able to “fix” myself. Some piece of me still believes that mental health is entirely separate from physical, that it’s something I can will myself to change. How I hold this belief exclusively for myself, and have literally never had similar feelings for folks I know on meds, I actually don’t understand. It’s a feat of brain power that defies me. Nonetheless saying I’m not ok is hard. Harder since Greg. Suicide is such an extreme lens through which to view “I’m not ok” that it’s felt off limits. It’s felt like placing a scary burden on others with a touch of crying wolf. I don’t have a good medium space for saying i’m not ok. And even with all that, I want to say plainly, I do not have any suicidal ideation or thoughts of self harm. I’m just really tired of this wall of fuzziness that makes it so I don’t feel invested in anything. I’m just so over waking up to unhappiness. I’m just exhausted by the amount of effort everything takes. And I think i’ve tried. I’m not drinking, I’m forcing myself to try new things, to get exercise, to make plans, to eat healthily, and I don’t feel better. Maybe I feel better than I would if I wasn’t doing those things. And I’m just done feeling this way with this distance between me and my life. And I’m done feeling exhausted and like I’ve failed because I can’t feel inspired. I feel like I’m trying to claw myself up a vertical wall of marble that offers few, if any, places to grip. So we’re gonna try something new.
Skipped my hike this week cause I just felt icky when I woke up and it was gonna be a really intense hike, ascending to over 15,500. But it was the kinda icky where I could still do things, so then I, usefully, spent most of the day regretting that I didn’t go. All the more so when I found out that the road had been closed and they ended up doing a different route that packed on miles, but really didn’t go high or do a lot of gain. That said, I had a lot to do to be ready for my week, so perhaps it’s just as well.
This week has mostly been preparing for my trip to Colorado which is on Tuesday, so coming up quick, and includes an appointment at the Mexican consulate to try to temporary residency. This is mostly a nightmare in document procurement and from the best I can tell, while you do need to meet some minimum standards, is also dependent on the agent you happen to interview with. So that will be exciting. I’m very much looking forward to getting some time in with Heids and the girls and also seeing Jenny!! Got my eye on first 14er as well (there are supposed to be mountain goats!!!)
Sunday night I had folks over for tostada de tinga de pollo. If you haven’t had this, I think it’s chicken tinga in the US, go seek it out. It’s a lovely mix of shredded chicken in a spiced tomato brothy kinda thing. You’ll see it just as an entree, in tacos, tostadas, flautas, kinda every which way you can imagine it. It was a fun, if rather late, night with Fran, Gus, Sherry & Paula.
Tacos of the Week:
Finally checked out Pitahaya Vegana which as you likely guessed is a vegan taco joint famously featuring housemade torillas infused with beet juice for a vibrant pink color. Up top we have a caulfilower taco with coconut based requeson cheese and pineapple cream. To the far left, a machaca tofu (traditionally a spiced and shredded beef) with guacamole and cabbage. Last, and actually kinda least, we have a potato with curry, spinach and nut crema.
I would definitely go back! The machaca was delightful. I wanted to buy a jar of this coconut cheese business and the agua de jamaica was lovely. The one hiccup that could exist is that it’s across the street from Escandalo, which is one of my favorite spots for one of my favorite foods, cochinita pibil. But damn, that coconut cheese was really good.
Year One Project 
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